Ki & Ka tells us why Indian society is still confused about house husbands
I have always wanted to be a house husband. I have suggested this to all my girlfriends.
I’ll do my writing and look after the house. You go and work. Look where it got me: I’m forty and single. But that doesn’t stop me from behaving like a house husband.
Today I woke up and did all the household chores.
The movie Ki & Ka is primarily about breaking gender stereotypes
I put dirty laundry into the washing machine - an old-fashioned twin-tub with no fuzzy logic.
There was a dust storm yesterday, so I picked up a broom and swept the back and front verandas. I vacuumed the rooms.
I was out of groceries, so I bicycled down to Big Bazaar and loaded up on milk, toor dal and Mother Dairy cheese slices. I got two pens free with the cheese. Very thoughtful of Mother Dairy.
pre bonded hairA writer can always do with an extra pen. I also went and watched Ki & Ka. It’s a nice enough film.
Kabir wants to be like his departed mother. Kia is a corporate go-getter. They meet on a flight, their love blossoms over Digene and whisky, then they get married in a courthouse.
Kabir, an IIM graduate, doesn’t want to be a ‘corporate robot’. His aim in life is to stay away from ‘phaltu mehnat’. This doesn’t mean he’s lazy - he fixes breakfast for his wife and mother-in-law; he fixes the bai - who puts on the AC and calls her boyfriend over as soon as Kia leaves for work, not realising that there is another person in the house.
Kia hasn’t told the folks in office the truth about Kabir. She’s told them that he’s writing a book, which is why he stays at home.
There you are – a writer/house husband combo is sort-of socially acceptable. I heave a sigh of relief.
Kabir’s character gets to flaunt his masculinity. He beats up ‘eve-teasers’ and wears his mother’s mangalsutra wrapped around his macho wrist.
When the family needs extra cash to buy a flat, he becomes a trainer, helping aunties lose weight.
Kabir is so unique in his life-choice that he becomes an unlikely social media star. He appears on the cover of Grahshobha and Femina, delivers a TED talk.
Kia gets jealous. She tells Kabir that he’s a fraud. For one who is against corporate slavery, he is, ironically, marketing his own life.
This is a film about breaking gender stereotypes, but it’s also a film about temperament. One can’t wholly be defined by gender.
Beyond gender lies the temperament of an individual.
The premise of the film is that usually boys want to be like their fathers, but they might also want to be like their homemaking mothers.
I grew up watching my father pottering around our Allahabad apartment, towel wrapped around his waist, wielding a broom and dustpan.
I wanted to be like my father. Though if you ask my mother, she’d say his cleaning was mostly superficial; he never reached for the difficult corners.
Society is funny that way. Working moms are made to feel guilty for not caring for their kids enough.
Stay-at-home mums are looked at as losers for not doing anything with their lives.
At social gatherings, most strangers want to talk with my father- they often don’t know what to say to my mother, other than polite nothings.
Talk to her. She’s a painter. She reads Henry Roth and Michael Houellebecq. She has opinions.
Once I was in a panel discussion with Anuja Chauhan at the National Academy of Administration, Mussoorie. When I spoke of men being stay-at-home dads, she disagreed with me.
She felt that when men don’t go to office, they drink beer all day and pig out in front of the TV.
But, Anuja, TV isn’t that bad. Housewives watch soaps. Men watch cricket.remy hair extensions
In fact, Test match cricket is a game custom- made for house husbands.
You keep an eye on the score, while performing your household duties - helping the kids with their homework, mopping and cleaning, buying Shakti Bhog atta.
Five days go by, the pitch crumbles and turns square, wickets tumble, and, in the meanwhile, all the chores are done. Most women still like the idea of a man being a man.
That they go out to work doesn’t mean the man stays home and does the dishes.
The man has to work and do the dishes. When I asked my father what in his opinion could be the reason for my not being married, he said straight up – to start with, you never had a regular job.
Pop song lyrics are the best social commentary one can read. In a song called ‘Dishes’, Jarvis Cocker sings: ‘I am not Jesus though I have the same initials/ I am the man who stays home and does the dishes./ I’d like to make this water wine but it’s impossible—/ I’ve got to get these dishes dry.’
Paula Cole, on the other hand, yearns for a ‘real’ man: ‘I will raise the children/ If you pay all the bills/ I will wash the dishes/ While you go have a beer/ Where is my John Wayne/ Where is my Marlboro man/ Where is my happy ending/ Where have all the cowboys gone?’
For the moment, I continue to be a sort-of-house husband. The other half is missing.
Hopefully, this film will change attitudes. Maybe, one day soon, I will find my Kia.
The writer is the author of ‘The Butterfly Generation’
Chris Rock's 33-year-old girlfriend Megalyn Echikunwoke flashed a diamond ring on her wedding finger on Saturday evening while at the Apollo in the Hamptons 2016 party in New York City.
The timing is interesting as the next day the comedian finalized his divorce from wife of 20 years, Malaak Compton-Rock.perruques cheveux naturels
The ring - a yellow gold double band with a small diamond - could be an engagement ring. As PageSix revealed on Thursday, a friend shared a clear image of the ring and added it was time to celebrate 'new beginnings,' strongly suggesting the standup could be on his way to another marriage.
Bling it on! Chris Rock's girlfriend Megalyn Echikunwoke flashed diamond ring on wedding finger on Sunday the night before his divorce was finalized from wife of 10 years Malaak
'Last night we celebrated new beginnings . . . #lovewins,' the unidentified friend wrote in the caption.
The site pointed out Echikunwoke seemed to take a dig at Malaak when she replied 'Bye, Felicia,' which is a catchphrase that pretty much translates to 'don't let the door hit you on the way out,' only not as polite.
A friend added crying-laughter emojis.
They look good together: The standup and Echikunwoke at the Governor's Ball at the 88th Academy Awards back in February; she does not appear to have the ring on here
The post was then taken down.
The beauty glowed as she held onto Rock, who was also in great spirits. She had on a lovely floral-print dress with spaghetti straps and her hair was worn down over her bare shoulders.
A source told PageSix, 'she always wears that ring,' which appears to be true as she has had it on several times in the past six months. They have been dating for one year and she lives at his New Jersey home.
The last one: Rock and Malaak back in 2014; they have two daughters together and have raised an adopted daughter as well
His rep then said Chris was '100 percent' not engaged.
On Monday Chris and Malaak both appeared in a New Jersey courtroom to finalise the split, reported TMZ.
The 51-year-old comic actor and his wife - who have been separated since 2014 -have two daughters Lola Simone, 14 and Zahra Savanna, 12.
Chris and Malaak Compton-Rock also appear to have been raising eight-year-old Ntombi, who first came to live with them from South Africa when she was six months old, according to the website, although details are unclear.
In divorce papers, Malaak listed Ntombi-futhi Samantha as a dependent along with the Rocks’ two biological daughters.
The kids: Chris with Malaak and children Lola, Zahra Savanna and Ntombi at the Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted premiere in NYC in 2012
She stated that in addition to their two children, there is a child 'who has resided with the parties since before her first birthday.'
But rather mysteriously, a spokesman for Chris told TMZ he does not have an adopted child.perruques cheveux
TMZ previously reported that back in 2008, the family took in Ntombi who remained in their house and was subsequently enrolled in a local school.
She mingles with the big guns: Chris and Megalyn with Harvey Weinstein at the Apollo party
The site added that the girl's parents were thought to be unemployed and from South Africa, although it is not known why she was living with the Rock family.
They add that when Chris and Malaak began divorce proceedings, Chris maintained contact with his two biological daughters.
However their divorce case is sealed so it is not known what settlement was reached.
Meanwhile, Chris began dating actress Megalyn earlier this year. Megalyn, who has had recurring roles in 24, ER, CSI Miami, The 4400, 90210 and Damien, was most recently featured as the animal-powered Vixen in the TV series Arrow.
Madonna surprised fans with an unexpected appearance at a 25th anniversary screening of her documentary Truth Or Dare on Wednesday.
The superstar showed up at the event held at the Museum of Modern Art in Manhattan to the delight of the 400 or so in the audience.
The 58-year-old pop culture icon shared a couple of photos on her Instagram showing her standing between two on-screen images of herself from her Blond Ambition tour of 1990.
'Surreal moment!' she wrote alongside the picture.lace front wigs
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'Surreal moment!' Madonna surprised fans at a 25th anniversary screening of documentary Truth Or Dare and posed next to images of herself from the 1990 Blond Ambition Tour
Madonna: Truth Or Dare was first released in May 1991 and followed the Material Girl on tour and showed her behind-the-scenes with then-boyfriend Warren Beatty, praying with her backup dancers and facing arrest for public indecency at her concert in Toronto, Canada.
'So many freedoms we take for granted that we did not have then. Thank you Alek Keshishian. We changed history with this film.!' Madonna wrote.
Keshishian directed the film that was shot in black and white.
Who's that girl? The pop icon, who just turned 58, delighted the 400 or so fans gathered to watch the film at the museum Of Modern Art in Manhattan on Wednesday
Demure: Madonna wore an off-he-shoulder red dress with white floral detailing and cinched at the waist with a black band for her surprise appearance
Sharing 'a kiki': She was accompanied by her daughter Lourdes 'Lola' Leon, 19
In a second photo shared via her Instagram, she's seen sharing 'a kiki' with daughter Lourdes Leon or Lola as she calls her.
Madonna wore a red off-the-shoulder dress with a flounce neckline and black spaghetti straps.cosplay wigs
The frock features white floral detailing, half-sleeves and was cinched under the bust with a black band.
She added a matching black and white floral patterned purse and wore her signature blonde hair styled in loose waves to her shoulders.
Madonna had just returned from a birthday trip to Cuba with Lola, 19, and adopted children, 10-year-olds David and Mercy.
Truth Or Dare AKA In Bed With Madonna showed behind-the-scenes footage of the singer including candid moments with then-boyfriend Warren Beatty and prayer circles with her dancers
Getaway: Madonna recently celebrated her 58th birthday with a trip to Cuba accompanied by daughter Lola, 19, and her adopted children David and Mercy, both 10